Thing I hate today: gum smacking.
Originally, I thought my hatred was of chewing gum, because in theory that is the root cause of what I hate. But it struck me, that's not it, because I enjoy chewing gum, sometimes it's great when you need to get a certain taste of out of your mouth. I, for one, enjoy the taste of Ice Cubes Cooling Lemon gum. It's refreshing and delicious, and not to gummy-tasting. So, I will not spend the rest of this post hating on chewing gum.
I hate gum smacking. I hate it for several reasons:
- It's noisy. I hate the sound of anything involving chewing and noise. In high school, I very blatantly told a girl I always ate lunch with that she needed to stop her noisy chewing because it was annoying.
- It's gross. You wouldn't generally chew with your mouth open with anything else inside it, like regular food, so why would you do it with a food derivative? (Because that's what it is, a food substitute.)
- If you do this, you look like a cow. To be more exact, you look like a cow chewing cud, and that is not attractive. I'm not exactly sure when it become socially acceptable or desirable to take on bovine qualities, but in America it has. If I may make a point - a few years ago when Catherine Middleton's (i.e., the new Duchess of Cambridge, loved the royal wedding, BTW!) mother was caught on camera chewing gum with her mouth closed, the British paparazzi gave her such crap about bad manners, it was ridiculous. Here, people show up at fancy things all the time, smacking gum unabashedly, and it's no big deal.
So, to be frank, I don't understand why someone would want to make themselves look like a cow. I also don't understand why people can't wait like AN HOUR to pop in a piece of gum, instead of smacking like crazy at graduation ceremonies, weddings, special events in general.
Take my advice: don't do it. You look bad and you look like a cow. So again I ask: why do you want to look like a cow? Unless you are a real BBQ enthusiast (like my father), I don't think you should EVER want to take on bovine qualities.
Note: this hatred also extends to gum popping. I HATE gum popping, almost as much as I hate gum smacking. Just a side note.
See I take tat even further, I actually do hate chewing guum, it's probably the closest thing I have to a fobia, it's not just that the noise is annoying, I just here it mand think it must be mostly saliva making thta noise by now, just a big ball of saliva being pushed around your mouth. yuck. I certainly can't have it in my own mouth. It gives yyou stomach ulcars anyway, so it isn't healthy, they should ban it everywhere like they have in Singapour, hm.. and then go to work on the mouths of anyone who does chew it with chewing gum cleaning equipment
ReplyDeleteFair enough! Maybe I should move to Singapore, that would definitely improve my days significantly.
ReplyDeleteWhy is gum chewing gross?
ReplyDeleteWhy do people insist in chewing with their mouths wide open or repeatedly opening?
Why do people who chew gum seem to think we want to see what is happening inside their mouths?
Why do those same people get so ticked off when we try to ask them, as politely as we can, to not snap/open mouth/chew their gum?
Why do people who are normally very nice and kind, take an offensive and/or aggressive attitude when someone asks them to stop snapping/spit out their gum?
Why do people who are normally very caring, respond indifferently and keep on with their oral activity even after someone explains how adversely it effects them?
Why do most gum chewers seem to care about and value their wad of used chewing gum more then they care about and value the wellbeing of all the people around them?
Well, let’s take a look at how gum chewing can affect us. I can imagine anyone who would think the sound of a wad of gum going squish squish squish, in someone’s mouth sounds good, especially if their mouth is open but what about the sight? They say they are chewing it. “It’s just gum, I’m just chewing it!!!”. Is that really what they are doing? I think most gum chewers do have “some” jaw up and down motion, but I have also seen some with jaw side to side motion (no idea how they do that). Mostly though, their teeth seem to be merely holding the gum momentarily while the tongue has a chance to do something with the gum. With most open mouth gum chewers you can see the tongue dart, dive, rise, flick, writhe, thrust, twist, roll, etc… and the wad of gum is bouncing around in their mouths visibly and sometimes bouncing in and out of their mouths like they are putting on an oral tennis match for everyone around to see. Not to mention, with all that tongue activity their throat has a equally great assortment of motions and gyrations that it goes through. We haven’t even covered those who will roll the gum into long strings and let it hang out of their mouths or those who wrap it and fold it and then create rapid fire snapping inside their mouths.
Is it hard to understand why it is so offensive? With all that motion going on that has nothing to do with “chewing”. Most people eating don’t employ anywhere near that kind of range of motion of the various parts of their mouths and throats. Well, let’s be honest, they aren’t chewing that gum. Gum isn’t food, they aren’t eating it. It is an object that you put in your mouth, and use it to entertain your mouth for many hours with a great variety of motions. That makes gum a toy. Yes, an oral toy. I really don’t enjoy watching or listening to people play with objects, “any kind of object” in their mouth. It is beyond disgusting, it is disturbing. Chewing isn’t much fun anyway, people don’t chew their last mouthful of food for hours just for the fun of it. But they do play with toys in their mouths, sometimes all day long every day.
But this still doesn’t explain why people who are playing with oral toys seem to value their oral toys more then they value and care about the wellbeing of people around them. It also doesn’t explain why when asked not to snap their oral toys we are sometimes met with extremely foul language, flat out refusal or in some cases compliance with an expression on their faces like we had tried to kindly ask them “could you never had children because I think they would be bad for society”. This doesn’t really explain why even people who can easily eat with their mouths closed usually can’t manage to play with toys in their mouths with their mouths closed. It also doesn’t explain why people who are normally nice turn mean when they have their toy in their mouths, why some seem to have attitudes that they are superior, etc.
What could be the missing link to answer all of those questions? What would prevent someone from playing with a toy in their mouths with their mouths closed when they can easily do it when they have food in their mouths? Why do many people play with their oral toys so vigorously and rapidly and seem to be breathing more heavily? Why do many of these people sigh after and during vigorous play with their toys? Why do some of these people have so much facial motion going on that you can see the entire surface of their heads moving while they are at vigorous play?
ReplyDeleteWith Cheeks rapidly popping in and out visibly from behind the head and temples and forehead in rapid motion bringing the back of the head with them. Head swinging often from left to right and back again so sitting directly behind them will never help. You are forced to get a profile view every few moments anyway, like they know you are dodging the sight and they are playing games with your psyche.
I have a theory. In fact, I am amazed that no one has ever come to this conclusion and posted it online before. They are addicted. They are not addicted to the toy in their mouths, I am fairly sure there are not addictive chemicals in most if not all brands of gum, but the tongue “IS” a sexual organ. All those rapid and very sexual motions that oral toy players are putting their tongues through must be generating a chemical release in their brains much like oral sex would. Since they are generating these chemicals throughout most of the day, they have become addicted to them.
That is why they play so rapidly, to generate more sex juice in their brains. That is why they are so so so offended when you slow down their play even slightly, you are cutting into their “even unknown to them” addiction to oral sex. That is why nice people turn mean when they have oral toys in their mouths. That is why people can’t manage to keep their mouths closed, likely needing the extra oxygen to go with all the sexual activity. That is why people breathe heavily and sigh while at oral play.
Gum is an oral sex toy.
I have “once” in my life observed someone who “could” play with an oral toy in their mouth and keep it shut. It didn’t help. The motions of their cheeks, throat and face made it clear that their tongue was having a sexual orgy inside their closed mouth, still offensive, still indecent and still outrageous.
No it is not ok to give oral sex toys to children, it doesn’t matter that they don’t know that it is an oral sex toy and it doesn’t matter that they don’t know they are having oral sex. It is utterly, completely, 100% unacceptable for children to be doing this and for anyone to entice children to do this. Not just children, it is utterly and completely indecent and offensive for “any human” to perform this behavior out in public. No, not in a church, or at a wedding, no not while you’re on the bus staring someone in the face. No not in any environment where you have any chance of encountering other people at all.
Now that we have a more clear idea of what is going on. How do we get the message out? How do we remind people that it just “might” be a good idea to care about the people around them just a tiny tiny tiny little bit. Caring about the people around them just a tiny little bit more than they care about their oral sex gum toys would be an astonishing and amazing start. How do we get people to care again and not start saying “It is my God given human right to assault by sight and sound anyone who is near to me with the display of my face while I engage in oral sex with objects that were not marketed as oral sex toys”. This is definitely not a right that is ok, we do not have the right to assault each other with indecent sexual acts, and if somehow we do have that right, we should care about people enough not to utilize it.